The Origins of 'Get Help'
by the crooked typewriter
Summary: It works every time...doesn't it?
1. Chapter 1

**The Origins of 'Get Help'**

Three times 'Get Help' worked, and one time it did not.

* * *

Thor grabbed Loki's hand, whispering through the gaps in his teeth. "We can get past them, brother. We just have to trick them to let us out."

Loki squinted down the small hallway at the nannies gathered at the far end, with their crumpled dresses and pudgy, angry cheeks. It did sound good to get out, get some fresh air for once. Besides, how hard would it be to trick a few nannies into letting them out of their rooms?

"Alright," Loki agreed. "How do we want to do it?"

Thor placed a hand over his chin, stroking absolutely nothing, to think. "Maybe I'll take a few nannies and you take the others?"

Loki snorted. "Mother won't be pleased if we kill them. We need to distract them."

Thor nodded solemnly, his face scrunching up in concentration. Loki only sighed, figuring that they'd never get outside if Thor was left to thinking up the plan. Huffing lightly, Loki tried again. "Why don't we pretend one of us is hurt? We'll shout a bit and the nannies will scatter."

"Brilliant, brother! I'll carry you out and shout - all you have to do is pretend to die," Thor exclaimed, excitement flushing his face. "You _are_ the better actor, of the two of us."

"That is true," Loki agreed. He looked down at his feet, contemplating, before he let go of Thor's hand and letting his brother scoop him into his arms with little difficulty.

"Droop your head a bit more," Thor instructed. "You don't look injured."

"Don't tell me what to do," Loki snarled. "I know how to look injured."

He drooped his head a little more.

Then Thor took off running, jostling ever bone in Loki's body until he wasn't exactly sure which way was up and down any longer. Still, he kept his eyes shut tight and his body limp. He wasn't going to be the one to blame if the plan failed.

"Get help! Get help!" Thor shouted at the nannies, whose heads perked up at the sound of the little boy's voice. "It's my brother, he's dying, we need help!" And as the nannies lined up, all three in a row, a mischievous, toothless smile crossed Thor's face. "Get _help!"_

He launched Loki's body at the blustering nannies, despite his brother's screaming at him to not let go. He ran after Loki, just as he had thrown him, watching in horror and amazement at the swirling of his brother's mop of black curls around and around as he hit the nannies with a smack, knocking the collective bunch down together. Then, picking up Loki's arm as he ran, Thor ducked around nannie's grappling hands and dragged his brother out of danger and into safety once again.

"Thor! Thor, stop dragging me!" Loki shouted, wriggling to get out of Thor's grip. "Thor, you're hurting me!"

Thor kept running.

The sound of small feet slapping at marble floors and a body being dragged behind them echoed around the hallways one hundred times over, harmonizing to Loki's cries to let go.

Finally, when columns disappeared to the grassy outdoors, Thor released his brother's arm and sat down, exhausted but content.

"We tricked those nannies, didn't we brother?" Thor said joyously. Loki only clutched his arm tighter to his chest. "Brother?"

"You hurt me," Loki complained, blinking back tears as he tugged away his arm from Thor's curious gaze. "Don't touch me."

"Let me see, Loki. I am sorry that I hurt you," Thor said, ducking past Loki's stiff arm to see his injury. "Let me help you!"

"Go away, Thor. You'll only make things worse," Loki reprimanded. Loki huffed as Thor's lip started to tremble. "Stop, Thor." Then, "Fine, look at it." He held out his arm so that his brother could see, flinching at Thor's trying-to-be-gentle touch.

"Did I break it?" Thor asked quietly. Loki shook his head.

"It doesn't _feel_ broken...still, let me run on my own next time."

"I am sorry, brother," Thor apologized again. Then slyly, "Next time?"

Loki rolled his eyes. "It worked, didn't it?"

Thor stomped around in the soft grass, gleeful in their success of escaping and in Loki's small bit of praise. "It did work, Loki! Let's try it again tomorrow!"

Loki rolled his eyes again, clenching and unclenching his fist on his injured arm. "No, stupid. We can't do it again tomorrow. It's a trick, you see. And every good trick needs time in order to be good again. Patience."

Thor nodded, landing hard next to Loki once again. "We need a name for our trick. For when it is time to use it again."

The two little boys sat next to each other in the tall grass, each thinking of a name that would fit the genius of their plot.

"How about Thor-Throws-Loki-Who's-Not-Dead?" Thor said, looking at his brother for approval. Loki didn't bother rolling his eyes this time.

"Thor, that's a terrible name. I'll name it."

"Okay."

They sat in silence for a little while longer, before Loki snapped his fingers and pointed at his brother with a smirk. "We'll call it 'Get help.' Because that's what you yelled at the nannies: for them to 'get help.'"

Thor clapped his brother on the back. "You _are_ smart, Loki! You are _much_ better at naming than I am."

Loki shrugged, letting Thor's words sink into him and warm his heart.

Then: "There those little demons are!"

Thor met Loki's frightened glance.

"The nannies!" Thor shouted. "They found us!"

Loki pushed off of the ground to stand, helping Thor up as he went. "This plan is called 'run!'" he yelled as he sprinted across the lawn, Thor at his side.


	2. Chapter 2

Thor slapped a hand over Loki's mouth, willing him to be quiet. The doorway was swarming with chefs and maids, all carrying in and out dishes and food for that night's glorious banquet. Their father had sent them to their rooms hours ago, and there was no hope of dinner in sight. Grudgingly, Loki agreed to breaking into the kitchen. He definitely wasn't expecting the entire palace to be crammed in the cookery.

"We'll never make it past all of those cooks!" Thor hissed, one hand still clamped over Loki's mouth, the other on his rumbling stomach. "There's too many!"

Loki looked around himself: sure, there were scullery maids and chefs around every corner...but they were no means his father's guards. Surely, there was a trick…

Oh no.

"I think I know what you're thinking!" Thor said happily, letting go of Loki's face. Loki groaned. "It's finally time for 'Get help,' isn't it?!"

Loki groaned again. "Can't you be the victim this time? Your skull is so incredibly dense you wouldn't feel a thing."

Thor frowned. "Even so, you couldn't lift me."

Sizing his brother up carefully - thick mop of blonde hair, broad shoulders, large feet - Loki reluctantly agreed. "Maybe...but you would hurt more on contact."

Both boys giggled as their imaginations played a film of Thor twirling through the air to hit the head chef - splashing his latest soup all over the pristine palace floors.

"If we can get as many of them outside of the kitchen as we can, we can lock the doors on the inside and trap the servants on the outside. We'll have the food all to ourselves," Loki said. "So don't throw me _at_ the cooks and maids, throw me _over_ them. Then I'll grab the door, you fight your way through the crowd, and we'll lock the door together before anyone is ever wiser."

"Brilliant," Thor congratulated. "One problem: how am I going to get through the crowd?"

"Oh, you'll think of something, I'm sure," Loki dismissed. "Don't...don't carry me this time. It's embarrassing."

"Whatever you say, brother." And Thor swung Loki's arm around his shoulders and grabbed onto Loki's middle. Then, he proceeded to yell at the top of his lungs: "Get help! Please, someone, get help! It's my brother, he's dying! He needs help!"

The cooks and maids heads snapped collectively toward the sound, and Loki fell limp at Thor's side, his eyes squeezed shut in a mockery of pain. Thor inched forward, impressively acting in a struggle to carry his poor brother. Peeking only once, Loki made sure to moan loudly and limp pitifully. The crowd of servants surged forward to help the boys, arms outstretched to lift Loki away from Thor's grip. Just as the last curious heads popped out of the kitchen door, Thor heaved Loki into his arms and tossed the thinner boy over the crowd's heads. There was a collective gasp.

Ducking into a roll, Loki hit the ground. His head crashed into the marble floor before he skidded to a halt just inside the kitchen. He shakily got up, shoved the remaining cooks out the door, and slammed it closed. He didn't check for Thor. He just sunk to his knees as the lock clicked into place, clutching his head tightly between his hands.

"Brother!" he heard a shout from the other side of the thick wooden door. "Let me in!"

Loki moaned softly. His head continued to pound to the beat of the furious knocking behind him. He was _definitely_ concussed. There was no doubt about that.

" _Brother!"_

"Get to the window on the far side of the palace!" Loki shouted back, wincing at the pain in his skull as he did so. "I'll let you in there!"

Then not really caring if Thor found his way there or not, Loki sat amongst the dense aromas that filled the kitchen with his eyes squeezed shut and his fingers digging into his dark curls.

All too soon, he heard a knock at the far window. It was clear and strong, despite the raucous the maids and cooks were causing. _Thor._

Thor watched carefully as his brother made his way to the window, his steps uncertain and his eyelids at half mast. _Hurry brother!_ Thor thought, hearing his stomach agree wholeheartedly.

Loki pried the window open with a little difficulty, but Thor managed to slip inside, broad shoulders and all. Once both boys stood on the flour strewn ground, Thor started to laugh.

"You should have seen the servants faces, Loki! It was truly something of humor," Thor joked. Loki wasn't having it, though, and Thor sobered quickly. "What's the matter, brother? Are you hurt?"

Loki batted Thor away before his hand quickly returned to his head. "Not so loud, Thor," Loki whined. "You've given me a concussion."

Thor tried at a whisper. "I've given you what?"

"A concussion, Thor. I hit my head."

"Oh." There was a moment of silence between the boys. "I'm sorry, brother."

"Plus, it was humiliating. All of those servants saw me fall."

He could tell that Thor wasn't listening. He was too busy eyeing the plethora of food stacked high on the preparation tables. Loki couldn't believe how one-track-minded his brother was.

"Eat, already, Thor. I don't want this Odin-awful headache to be for nothing."

Thor did as he was told.

All the while, Loki sunk into the corner of the kitchen, wishing away the nausea that comes hand in hand with a blow to the head. Thor tore off bits of meat, swallowed spoonfuls of soup, and drank his fair share of pints. The sloppy noises only made Loki's stomach churn.

"Thor, we have to go. I-I don't feel very well," Loki stuttered, changing his grip to hold his stomach. Thor peeked up from the table.

"Is it your conclusion, brother?" Thor asked worried, dropping his food to be at his brother's side. "Should I carry you?"

Loki hissed out a mellow note as Thor tried to lift him. "No, no. Don't pick me up. I can walk." Thor let go. Loki's knees wobbled under his weight as he tried to straighten himself out. His stomach cramped painfully. "Thor-Thor I'm going to-"

Then Loki threw up all over the floor.

Thor only patted his brother's back. It wasn't gentle, but it was still nice.

"Maybe not," Loki obliged, letting Thor pick him up slowly. His mouth tasted sour, and the smells that were so heavenly only a little while ago seemed to assault his sensitive stomach. "Just hurry, brother."

"Mother will know what to do," Thor said confidently as he moved to climb out the open window. Loki just clutched Thor's tunic closer to him and squeezed his eyes shut to block out the painful light of outside. Thor carefully maneuvered them both out into the open air before taking off at a fast walk to find their mother.

"Let's not do that again," Loki moaned into Thor's chest. "It's humiliating."

"But it worked, didn't it?" Thor answered happily. "I have only your clever brain to thank, brother."

And as the boys approached the main entrance (much to the gatekeeper's confusion), Thor quietly retold their tale. "We need help," he summarized. "My brother is suffering from a conclusion. It even made him throw up."

"It's a concussion, Thor," Loki corrected. "And I did not throw up."

The gatekeeper shrugged and let them pass.

Humiliating.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Thor set his mug down with a _crash,_ watching his brother carefully to judge his reaction. Loki didn't even take a second glance. He just swirled his slim finger around the edge of his glass, ignoring the jolly atmosphere with determination. Within the entire saloon, he was the only one wearing all black.

"Brother, are you not well?" Thor asked, nudging Loki with his elbow. While he _was_ going for gentle, brotherly tap, he sent Loki sprawling across to the seat next to him. His head connected with the grizzly man's drink, pouring it down the front of his armored chest. The man grunted, turned, and flared his nostrils.

"Thor!" Loki half-whispered, eyes widening as the man stood up from his chair. "Now would be a great time to get-"

" _Arrgh!"_

Thor lunged at his brother's possible offender and grabbed him by his great, red beard. As retaliation, the man went for Thor's barely shoulder length hair (seeing as his beard was merely wispy whiskers.) The two men rolled onto the floor, grunting and punching all the way down.

"Thor, please-" Loki started, before getting swallowed in the masses running to join the fight. He was tossed around between an unbelieveable amount of burly men before getting spit out on the other side of the fight. Sighing heavily, Loki straightened out his tunic before catching a nice seat to watch Thor get destroyed. He was quite certain that his dear brother was at the very bottom of the pile of angry Asgardians.

"Loki!" he heard a muffled shout. Loki merely raised an eyebrow, finding his eye already starting to swell up from his contact with the man's arm.

"Brother, you don't know me very well if you want me to save you from under that pile," Loki mused. His sarcasm was met by a loud.

" _Psst! Look this way, brother!"_

Loki whirled around to see Thor leaning against a pillar on the far side of the room. And people thought _Loki_ was the tricky one.

"Thor, how did you..?" Loki started before trailing off. "You know? Never mind. Let's skip that bit and move on." Thor agreed wholeheartedly. "You've started a _brawl,_ brother. We're not getting past the bartender without punishment this time."

Besides, their father would be mortified that they were drinking outside of the palace.

Drinking _commoner's_ beer.

 _Disgusting._

 _Also,_ Loki thought sheepishly. _What would mother say if she found out?_

No, getting caught was not an option.

"We have to get past the bartender," Thor reiterated, sweeping his sweaty hair out of his eyes. "Mother will have our hides."

"No," Loki said, smirking. "She'll have _your_ hide. I don't have alcohol breath."

Thor shrugged. "But you _do_ have a blackened eye."

Loki lightly touched the bridge of his nose and around his eye socket. It was fairly swollen. Mother would think he had gotten into the fight as well.

"Fine," Loki obliged. "But if I help you out, you're telling mother the whole truth. Understand?"

Thor nodded quickly.

Loki slid over to where Thor was hiding, carefully moving in shadow to cover his taller, more muscular brother. His mind raced with possibilities. They could somehow involve the bartender in the fight. They could call fire, and race out with the crowd-

"Brother!" Thor whispered loudly.

"Not now," Loki hissed. "I'm thinking."

"Brother," Thor whined again.

" _What?!"_ Loki pressed two fingers to his temple.

"Let's do 'Get Help,'" Thor suggested giddily.

"Absolutely not. It's humiliating and painful."

The room still echoed with grunts and shouts of angry, hairy men, and their argument was covered up efficiently. Still, the pillar would only hide the two of them for so long. The siblings needed to act fast.

"Fine! Fine!" Loki said as a mug was hurled through the air, smashing against the wall above their heads. "But we have to go _now."_

Thor nodded once, solemnly hefting Loki onto his shoulder. Loki cleared his throat, trying to cover the blush that spread across his cheeks as he deftly fainted at Thor's command. His head lolled. His eyes were heavily lidded and his face was pale. He dragged each step, agonizingly countering Thor's quick movements.

"Help! Someone, please get help!" Thor shouted hoarsely into the crowd of Asgardians. " _Please,_ he's my only brother. _Someone_ get help!" Loki coughed and sputtered as each man paused their fists and turned to see the two brothers clinging on to each other. One man even dropped his beer to watch the scene unfold.

Loki coughed a few more times for good measure.

A few conscious men pointed toward the door. Others squinted against the poorly-lit surroundings to see them better, already suspicious. They didn't have much time.

"Quickly, brother," Loki muttered through clenched teeth. Thor jostled him knowingly.

"Please, someone, _please,_ " Thor said again, whirling around to face the doorway. The bartender and a few men stood in front of it. "He's _dying!_ He's been poisoned!"

The bartender cocked his head.

"Well, brother, I tried," Thor said shrugging Loki's arm off of his shoulder. Then, with one foul swoop, Loki was picked up off of the ground, loaded into Thor's strong arms, and flying through the air. He let out a yelp as he connected with harsh metal breastplates and toned bodies. Like a terrible game, each solidly built man fell to the floor. Loki stumbled back to his feet.

"Go!" Loki shouted, waving his brother forward and out of the door. "Go, go, go!"

Thor fell into step quickly, laughing heartily.

"What a good show!" he chuckled, slapping his brother on the shoulder. "You were magnificent! Of course, I was quite convincing with my acting, wasn't I brother Loki?"

"No," Loki deadpanned, huffing slightly from loss of breath. "It was humiliating. We're not doing it again."

"But it works every time!" Thor countered, jogging faster to keep up with this brother's furious gait. "It's a classic!"

"It's not a classic."

"It is!"

"Not."

The two continued to argue their way back to the main road and down even to the palace. The main gate was out of the options: to walk in looking and smelling like they did would certainly draw too much unwanted attention. Quickly, Loki dragged Thor off of the road and down to the stables, locating an underground entrance with ease.

"This should lead us inside just as easily," Loki said. Thor smiled, his eyes full of something Loki didn't want to acknowledge. Loki cleared his throat uncomfortably, ushering Thor inside the door with a flick of his wrist. After a few minutes of silence in the darkened tunnel, Thor spoke up.

"You'll want to put something cold on your eye, brother," he said, as if that was as good as asking for forgiveness.

 _It isn't,_ Loki thought angrily. _He can't just always hurt me then act like it wasn't his fault-_

"I wish I wasn't so careless," Thor whispered. "More like you, more like mother."

Loki turned his head away from him. Thor was just trying to pull his heart strings. Get him to accept his useless apology.

It worked.

It always did.

"Well, then, next time stick to diplomacy instead of throwing your brother all the time!" Loki tried at a joke, lightly shoving his shoulder to Thor's. His brother smiled, crunching Loki's torso in a one-armed hug.

"What would I do without you, Loki?"

Loki didn't answer. He just let Thor's easy warmth soak into his heart, trying to let it melt something he felt had gone so irreparably cold.

"Let's just avoid mother until your eye heals up, all right brother?" Thor said sheepishly. Loki snorted, pushing away from Thor's embrace.

"Let's avoid mother until your breath doesn't smell like sewage."

"An oath."

They laughed easily, then, sure of themselves as they marched quietly up the hidden stairs and into the bright light of the palace.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Their dark surroundings closed in fast as Loki fell to the ground, abdomen bleeding, breathing hard. Thor landed hard, sinking to his knees at his brother's side.

So they were not brothers by blood.

So he's betrayed him time and time again.

What he did then, against that evil being, was the brother he's always known and loved.

Thor let his eyes scan Loki over, determining with a heavy heart Loki was not going to walk this one off with constant complaints and a hug from mother. As Loki took in another shuddering breath, Thor ran his shaking hand over his brother's forehead.

"I'm sorry," Loki gasped, eyes wide with fear. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Thor bit his lip, trying to hold back a sea of emotions. "Sh, it's alright," he tried to comfort. _Was he being gentle enough? What should he say? Take the weapon out? Leave it in?_ His mind raced as he tried to think of what Loki would do if it was himself lying, dying on the ground.

"It's alright," Thor tried again, his chin trembling. "I'll tell father what you did here today."

"I didn't do it for him," Loki choked out, back arching in agony as the poison spread through his weakened body. He was dying. Loki was _dying._

His brother, his mischievous brother that he loved so deeply, was fading away before his eyes. He had nightmares of this, when he was young. He saw Loki dying over and over, him powerless to do anything as he slipped into death's dreadful, reaching arms. He had promised himself that he would die first; he would die before so that no day was filled with regret or pain. He would live while he could with his brother's company, then when the time came, he would die in it. _There was no other way,_ he had convinced his younger self. _Life wouldn't go on the same without his brother at his side_.

And yet, here he was.

His brother sacrificing himself for Thor.

And Thor alone.

His partner in crime, his friend, his brother.

Loki's head fell back against Thor's dirt-covered hand, eyes glazed and empty of their usual fire and passion. His hair was messy. His face was gray and dusty.

" _No!"_ Thor cried, screamed, moaned for his brother's death. It wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening. Loki always found a way to evade death.

 _Get help,_ Thor thought helplessly, thinking back to all of the tricks that he had played on the villains in their younger years. _Get help, my brother, he's dying._

 _Someone, please. He's my only brother. Someone, anyone, get help._

The End.


End file.
